Creative Agency Secrets

One of my clients just got their very first email newsletter from a supplier. 

Oh my goodness, it is so DULL.  Here's the opening paragraphs

Welcome to the first edition of XYZ's Connections e-Newsletter, designed to provide timely information and tools to help your business run more efficiently.

The cornerstone of our first issue is exciting news about the global alignment of our organisation and the development of our powerful international processing platform, designed to help your business efficiently accommodate industry regulations and technological advancements.

 I have changed their name to protect the innocent and deadly communications advisor who must be surely about to lose his job for sending out such twaffle. 

Apart from being rather far behind the curve for newsletters (albeit sending it by email is vaguely 21st Century) This communication sucks. 

It's full of corproate-speak, management consultant catchphrases and has a TOTAL LACK of orientation around the customer.

Why would my client be interested in the "global alignment" of their organisation.  WIIFM? 

PS here's the text from the rest just to make you cringe further. The first sentence reminds me of a ghastly corporate mission statement written by Peter Jenner for Erdman Lewis while I worked there "Anticipating the needs our our clients, we bla bla bla…."

As we continue to add value to your business, we will provide you with industry-leading support and service. That is why each issue of Connections will connect you with valuable information about security, compliance and innovative solutions to help maximise your operational and financial efficiencies. We hope Connections helps you stay connected to your payments processing operations and the robust solutions XYZ offers.

Nice story fron the BBC with a suggestion that readers get involved in desiging the 'mascot' for the Olymnpics.

Including how to avoid gaffes like Atlanta and the london logo…. 

Great idea. 

Not really social media but definitely community participation….

But I HATE mascots.  Why else would people buy a souvenir if there wasnt a cuddly mascot image on it?

Great page from NMK the New Media Knowledge team who do so much to promote new digital stuff in London.

They are re-designing the site and have added a logo “Beta” to each page.  If you click on it the link takes you to this page   where they list all the good and bad things with the site at present.  In this way you know what they’re already aware of and working on and what is still unresolved.

Straightforward, and accurate.  And also the possibility of the ‘permanent’ beta looms….! 

Getting out of touch with other generations than your own is a fact of life.  I had personal experience of a  couple in the pub tonight, and another courtesy of my Uncle Malcolm (thanks, mate!) this Christmas.

First Malcolm.  He’s studying at Nuffield College Oxford right now for a year.  And since he has real white hair, the staff asked him to be Santa for their kids party.  He did the usual "hello kiddie, what do you want for Christmas" line and all was going well until a little boy said to him
"I’d like a wee!"  Well, uncle M sent him back to him Mum quick-o…… but later it was explained what the boy really wanted, a Wii!!

Tonight in the Coach and Horses, Waterbeach, I read a sign behind the bar.  "Meal Deal, £1 pack of crisps and a pickled egg".  Says it all, really!

And overhearing a punter place his order which included a "posh wine".  Apparently this is wine (red or white) with lemonade.  God I’m out of touch.  Plus it sounds about the only way to drink unspeakable pub wine. Tell me I’m wrong, someone, please tell me…..

(more…)

Niche TV channels are nothing new these days.   But this is the first I’ve seen with a Marketing bent.
Marketing Success

I tried to get in touch, but got this message from the email address printed on the page

Hi. This is the qmail-send program at server1.cre8mm.com.
I’m afraid I wasn’t able to deliver your message to the following addresses.
This is a permanent error; I’ve given up. Sorry it didn’t work out.

<enquiries@marketingsuccess.tv>:
This address no longer accepts mail.

So long, Marketing Success!  One way conversation without dialogue has little place for returning visitors in today’s Cluetrain World!